Christ's whole message was a message of surrendering all you are to
the will of God, sacrificing your fleshly desires repenting of your
sins and realizing that you can NOT save yourself. Your problem
stems from the fact that you seem to think that you are good, and
you deserve to stand in the presence of a Holy God who does not
tolerate sin, until you surrender yourself… until you give up trying
to understand God and let HIM reveal himself to you, you'll never
understand.
For my thoughts [are] not your thoughts,
neither [are] your ways my ways, saith the LORD.
For [as] the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your
thoughts.
Isaiah 55:8-9
Your problem is you are trying to understand a Holy God through your
perverse unholy mind, you have to just surrender all you are, all
your preconceived notions and ask God to change your heart because
only He can. Romans says: